Early morning I reached Mettupaliyam from where I had to change the train for Coonoor. I was looking forward to the train journey (the famed Nilgiri train) but fate had other things in store for me. I had an unreserved ticket from Mettupaliyam to Coonoor and because of the Holiday (read Pongal) season, the train was full. So for half an hour I was at my supplicating best with the man of the hour Mr. Venkatachalam (the T.T. you dumbo’s). But despite my best impressions of the MPs around Jayalalitha, I was unsuccessful. So off I trod to the bus stand to catch a bus to Coonoor (only 1 hour by road). At the bus stand, the signs being in Tamil combined with no one knowing English/ Hindi combined with me not knowing Tamil made the simple process of catching a bus an extremely exasperating one. Anyways, after half an hour of cursing and swearing (in Hindi / English, not Tamil!), I was off to Coonoor.
The gentleman next to me in the bus decided to keep his window open (Coonoor, for those not in the know, is at an altitude hence temperatures are slightly lower). When I politely told him that everyone else had their windows closed and that he should also do the same he gave me THE look and said “you young man why worry” (good for my ego but not good for my health as I started sniffing after about ten minutes). Then half an hour into the journey, my neighbour craned his neck out of the window and started to do what George Bush Sr. did in the Japanese PMs lap (barfing! for those who are scratching their heads). So that is why he wanted to keep the window open.
Anyways, after a tortuous journey, and a smelly one to boot, I finally made it to Coonoor (ironically, a good half hour before the train reached there). To make amends, I went straight to the railway station and booked myself for the return journey to prevent a repeat performance.
After checking in, I hit the town (notice usage of grammer!) as my stomach was growling (despite my neighbour-on-the-bus’s antics). I ate an embarrassingly heavy brunch and set out to explore.
I first visited Sim’s Park (a tourist’s mecca in Coonoor) which is a botanical / geological park with many varieties of trees and plants (not my cuppa tea but still I went). Then I visited 2 stuffy clubs (relics of the Raj) – Coonoor Club and Wellingdon club. I managed to get a beer at the latter’s bar aptly called Gun’s bar (the bar room had nothing but guns on the walls, perhaps to remind drinkers to pay before they leave!). The club is used by the military and has a picturesque golf course attached to it (reminiscent of Naldehra) but the club was meant only for the Pucca Burra Sahibs. It was complete with wooden floors and deers antlers and old colonial style architecture. I got chatting with a Colonel there (who first gave me a dirty look at my disheveled appearance as, excuse me, there is a dress code in the club). Anyways, he started comparing the Coonoor Club with his Club and said that Coonoor club didn’t even come close to his club. His exact words were “young man (not the first time I was hearing this phrase), civilians have no discipline”. Having continuously leched at his two daughters for the duration of the conversation, I had no heart (or locus-standi) to argue with him.
From there I went to (with the beer in my stomach!) to a place which apparently looks like the nose of a dolphin and (surprise – surprise) is called Dolphin’s Nose. I slept in the bus and overshot the place as the bus conductor forgot to tell me where to get off. So I had to walk it back to Dolphin’s Nose but not after a you-didn’t-tell-me-to-get-off (from my side) and you-never-told-me-to-tell-you (from his side) argument which ultimately degenerated to my usual I-don’t-speak-tamil-you-don’t-speak-english routine. And finally when I reached Dolphins Nose for the “breathtaking view”, I was extremely exasperated since the bloody place looked nothing like a Dolphin’s Nose. What Lonely Planet forgot to mention was that the blasted place looks like the Nose from other viewpoints……...
So I decided to walk it back to Coonoor – merely 12 kms away (I decided to do it maybe because I was called “young man” twice in the same day!). Anyways, since I was sleeping on the way to Dolphins nose I forgot to notice that the walk back was going to be almost entirely uphill. After 5 breathtaking (….ooooops breathless) kms, I spotted some firangs I had met earlier in the day, who were now waiting for the bus. So I decided to wait with them. This motley group (1 german, 1 hungarian and 1 swede) have been traveling for the last 6 months in India and have seen more of India (I am embarrassed to say) than all of my acquaintainces put together. The women (Swede and Hungarian) then started with the favourite firang woman routine. Why do Indian men stare ? I staunchly defended my Indian brethren with some inane arguments but atleast I tried. While I was arguing the image of the Colonels daughters came to my mind ;)
So now the day is over, and I am wondering where to have dinner.
